I wrote this to share with friends several years ago, and after recently trying to wean a couple of handfed baby hedgehogs onto dish feeding couldn't resist hunting it up to share.

Ingredients Needed: Five four week old baby hedgehogs, one small batch slightly thick formula, one baby food jar lid

Time needed: ten to fifteen minutes for preparation. Double that for clean up.

Instructions:

1. place baby food jar lid in enclosure on flat surface. Allow babies to explore lid.

2. place large squirt of formula in dish

3. watch and laugh hysterically as baby hedgehogs explore drinking from dish

4. whimper quietly as baby hedgehogs get themselves, each other, and most of cage COVERED in formula

5. remove individual babies to potty, feed with dropper, and clean off

6. whimper when just cleaned babies make beeline for dish

7. repeat steps four through six until ready to scream

8. remove individual babies to clean up, place in clean hedge bag on bed

9. whimper again when babies refuse to STAY in clean hedge bag while other babies get cleaned up

10. call child to watch babies

11. endure being laughed at by seven year old, who finds disasterized hedge babies and cage hilarious

12. threaten child who also finds this hilarious, but at least agrees to watch babies

13. explain to helpful dog that said dog does not need to be in charge of cleaning up baby hedgies

14. laugh when very weird dog insists on licking baby hedgehog anyway, making horrible faces the whole time, but refusing to stop washing it

15. finish cleaning remaining baby hedgies while dancing around to thwart insane licking dog who is still trying to help

16. remove ALL bedding from enclosure, wipe enclosure, put towel and hedge bag in wash, put in fresh towel

17. put babies back in hedge bag despite howls of four year old that they were playing with her

18. put hedge bag full of baby hedgies back in enclosure

19. close lid of enclosure with BIG sigh

20. chase down other 'helpful' dog who has made off with yummy baby food lid

21. go to wash baby food lid to find that a cat has knocked over container of formula you forgot to put back in fridge

22. call cat bad names while cleaning counter and making new formula

23. wonder why breeding hedgehogs seemed like such a good idea

24. repeat at four hour intervals

25. go share with friends so THEY can laugh too.